Thursday, April 28, 2011


It is so damn frustrating sometimes. I just don't even know where to begin. The exhaustion I'm feeling, the constant ache in my ears that hasn't ceased in two months, the feeling like it's never going to end, and even if it does, then one more struggle is on the list to combat. And on top of that there is the blogging. I have been enjoying blogging very much. It's been awesome. It's been something that helps me keep my sanity, but what the hell is the point of blogging to yourself. It's nice to get a little traffic, you know? And I've gotten a little. Very little. But the point is that every few posts I get some lovely comments from lovely readers and it all helps. Part of blogging and getting response is GIVING response. I get that. I understand. I even want to go out and give others some feed back. But this can be one of the most frustrating processes in existence and it's mostly to do with Mommy Bloggers. I like Mommy Bloggers. Really - don't get the wrong idea here, but just because someone doesn't have a baby doesn't make them less of a blogger. I feel like I go out to these website and have tried to start participating in writing memes and trying to get a few regular blogs that I write and comment on, because I enjoy them. But I have to say there is only one Mommy Blogger that I know that manages to write without making the reader feel like they have to be a Mommy Blogger to get it! Seriously - one. It's not that I don't understand. If you're a Mommy Blogger, who loves to read and write (as they all inevitably seem to) and writes some freelance for some other online or bigger blog community (as half of them inevitably seem to) etc, you've got a wealth of things to write blogs about. What your child's doing now, complaints and glorious mommy moments, the father/husband who has tender/comical/understanding moments. The list goes on and on. It's nice. But the Mommy Bloggers have banned together - they've united across the internet to form cliquish groups that some mommy bloggers wish they were a part of and would love to be entered into the circle, for even a week. And in their comments are THOUSANDS of comments from other mommy bloggers about how they understand perfectly. Here's where the really frustrating part is. After reading a handful of the dozens of responses on their blogs about how they too have gone through infertility issues, that their baby also does that strange thing with their face, that the anxieties of being a mommy are universal in mommyhood... it feels pretty lame to post something that sounds like "I've got no experience or credentials as a mommy (since I'm not one) but I feel what you're saying here..." yeah. lame. super duper lame. It's a bit disheartening. I tend to love it best when these ladies write a fiction or a memory from their pre-baby days, or when they have things to write about that don't pertain to their mommy-ness. Some of them manage to do it and it's so nice to be like "I'm a HUMAN too! We have something in common - let's share." Don't get me wrong, I do get some very lovely comments from these ladies on a rare occasion and I'm not trying to hate here. I don't hate - I don't even dislike. But it can be frustrating to be a newly wed who's not planning on having babies for another few years in the sea of Mommy Bloggers.

PS - Please don't hate on me if you're a mommy blogger. It's not personal. It's just part of a larger web of stresses that I've been dealing with. Blogging is one of my outlets, but it's starting to feel like this outlet is shorted. I'm trying to let go...

Initial thought: "Being mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!" aka frustration
Time: 15 minutes