A return to where the ends aren't capped

Yes, I'm coming back to the place where the ends aren't capped. More than ever, I think I need a place to get this stuff out - an outlet for the things that fill up my brain. I always have so much brain chatter. It's something that has to do with my anxiety. Today is one of those days, however, when I really don't have the time to waste and a 5 minute or 10 minute ramble sounds like it could be effective. I have two huge tests tomorrow on completely different things. I'm not sure how they're going to go. I've been working toward this profession for a while, but this could put a real bend in the path: good or bad. I'm not sure. It'll really depend on how I do. I'm going to try to remember that I tend to be a good test taker and that knowing the method of taking these tests can do more than half the work for you. I just don't feel prepared on the material as much as I could. Especially the Social Studies Content. The prompt of this test is basically "know everything ever". It's kinda insane. I'm working on improving in some of the areas where I already have some vague knowledge so that I can associate knowledge I already have with that I need to know for the test. So far, I think it's going okay, but a practice test today will probably give me a clearer picture of what's going to happen tomorrow. In other news, as soon as I have studying that I must really buckle down on and my job is starting to get really work-filled (something it hasn't been in a while), I find some of the most interesting and inspiring things in the world that Id like to spend some time doing. Reading fairy tales, taking an MOOC, watching a series or two. But, of course, I shouldn't be spending this time that way. Arg - time's up.

Initial thought: Stress and needing an outlet
Time limit: 5 minutes

Teaching Us NOT to Explore

Teaching is one of those things that we do naturally. I think that in our interactions with other people we're constantly teaching them something and, even better, we're all learning. The one thing that's driving me up a wall right now is that i have a professor that I'm not sure is really teaching me a whole lot. I mean, he's trying to teach me to be a teacher, but the way that the course is going, I'm not pushed to explore that learning process. He most definitely wants to teach me, but only a strict set of guidelines and rules. There is no real push to be creative or even to discuss. Most of my discussion questions and responses have been responded to in such a way that I don't feel motivated to put the time and effort in. The problem is that it's in my nature to put the time and effort in to things like this that I am SOOO very interested in learning about. I want to be prepared the best that I can to teach. I want to be a good teacher who is aware of what the state wants and also aware of what my ideals are - what up and coming research there might be, how we can tie it in with other fields, how we can bring lots of fields of study together to create interesting and informed ways of doing and looking at things. I want to have my anthropological and philosophical lenses on when I read this stuff. And when I don't, I'm miserable. The problem is, with this class and administration, when I DO, I'm miserable.

Time: 5 minutes
Initial thought: teaching

Still designing

So here we go again. I find it funny that when I come here for my next free write, I end up writing about the same thing. I am playing around with designs right now and am swiftly increasing my bag of tricks to pull out of the paint/design programs I have. I've just started working with some textures and more layering and shadowing in a program that's not originally designed to have them at all. It's kinda nice, but at the same time a little limiting. I'm finding once again that I have designs I have and want to use, but no space for them and I'm trying to find the right background for my blog but am not really finding the thing that I want for it. I've just found a really great texture website. I'll post the link somewhere in the gadget boxes. They're pretty fantastic. I'm really hoping to get to utilize some of this stuff someday. I may never really need these skills, but I like them and I'd like to do something with them. It's kinda like my writing. I want to be able to do something with my writing, but I am aware that there is a huge difference between talent and genius. I'm not even really sure I have the talent right now, but talent can be developed and grown. I'm pretty settled with the fact that I don't have the genius part. I know several people that do. It's strange watching them do the things that one can only really think of doing without the genius that they possess. The worst part is that they often do not know they have it. Some of them do. They're the ones that make me feel the best about it. It's good to see it not being squandered. Time's up.

Initial thought: more designs
Time: 5 minutes